


Catch and Release

by thelonebamf



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2525414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonebamf/pseuds/thelonebamf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A simple, short, pre-movie story about a botched kidnapping attempt that allows Megs and Roxanne to inadvertently get to know one another a little more. It's just silly, not even really shippy or anything. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch and Release

"You can scream all you like, Miss Ritchie," drawled Megamind with his usual flair, "but there's no one to save you now! Wahahahaha-" he let forth a well rehearsed evil laugh.

Roxanne merely glared at him from her spot on the well worn chair and cocked an eyebrow. Clearly, she was unimpressed.

"...ha." Megamind pouted, visibly upset at her lack of reaction. "Let's just get Mr. Wonderful on the line and get this party started, shall we? Minion!"

"On it, sir!"

The sound of mechanical feet stomping on the floor could be heard as Minion deftly manuevered his robotic body, setting up various bits of machinery. Soon the room was filled with a thick, blue fog, lit by the erratic flashes of what Roxanne was sure were strobe lights.

"Excellent!" Megamind coughed, waving some of the smoke from his face as he turned to face his two-way monitor. He pressed a complicated series of buttons, which appeared to dial into Metro Man's direct line. The supervillain smoothed out his cape and did a last minute check as the massive computer began to connect. "Minion!" he hissed, mostly under his breath, "increase the beeping noises and put more science stuff around me!"

"Right away, sir!"

Roxanne could only vaguely make out the assistant's silhouette in the smoke, but sure enough within moments a choir of shrill computer noises joined the ambient tones of Megamind's machines.

Finally, the connection was made.

"At last," grinned Megamind.

"This is Metro Man," came a familiar voice from the monitor.

"METRO MAN!" howled Megamind, in what he hoped was a most villainous manner. "I have captured your dear Miss Ritchie and-"

"I'm not in right now because I'm at the annual Scott family reunion," continued the recording, "where I hope to win this year's family talent contest!" The pretaped Metroman picked up what appeared to be a ukelele and broke into song. "I'm so strong, I can bend steel, yes, I'm for reaaaaal," he crooned.

Roxanne winced at the off key display, and bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"This is no time for your musical talents," shouted Megamind, hands poised around an assortment of levers and buttons. "Look at the danger I've got your favorite reporter in!"

A bevy of rotating blades and laser canons were soon pointed at Roxanne's head, and to her credit the only indication she made of noticing them was sighing annoyedly.

"Sir?" interrupted Minion.

"What IS it, Minion," snapped Megamind. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of very sensitive negotiations with"

"I believe that's a recorded message, sir," suggested the fish.

"What?" Megamind turned quickly to face the monitor, "That's... that's..."

"Very lucky for Metro Man I'm sure," piped Minion. "If it was really him, I'm sure he'd have crumbled under the iron like strength of your argument."

"But...Metro Man... if he's not..." Megamind sputtered. "What am I supposed to do with her?" he whispered to the fish. "I can't just take her home all safe and sound with a 'Whoops, better luck next time," he said. "Wait... can I?"

"It probably wouldn't be up to your usual standard of evil, sir, no."

"Blast."

"Excuse me, boys," came the reporter's voice as the fog began to lift. "Can we move this along? These ropes are starting to chafe."

Megamind muttered something beneath his breath and motioned for Minion to take care of untying Roxanne.

"Well Miss Ritchie," he began, doing his best to come up with an impromptu evil speech to match his updated plans. "It seems your hero is nowhere to be found. You're at my mercy, Miss Ritchie," he crossed his arms and gave her a smile that he was sure was not at all nervous and totally in control.

"Fine," she said, standing up from her seat. "Then what happens now?"

"Now?" Repeated Megamind. "Uh...now? Now, we... we..."

"Yes?" asked Roxanne.

"We wait."  
\---

"Ah, I have you right where I want you, Miss Ritchie," the villain spoke in victorious tones. "There's no denying it."

She said nothing, but merely gave him an apraising look.

"Do you..." he paused to build suspense, "have any threes?"

Roxanne plucked a single card from her hand and flipped it onto the table, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"Ha ha! I knew it! Soon, oh so soon you shall taste the bitter taste of defeat!" laughed Megamind.

"Yeah, uh huh," replied Roxanne, looking down at her cards. "Got any sevens?"

"GO FISH!" yelled Megamind, slamming his gloved fist on the table.

"Sure boss, where did you want me to go?" piped Minion.

"Minion, I swear if you say that just one more time..."  
\---

"Alright, alright," Megamind huffed, licking his lips in concentration. Minion's eyes opened wide in expectation, and Roxanne simply smirked. "I'm going to the picnic," he continued, "and I'm bringing apple pie, bubbles," he scowled at Minion who bobbed happily in his tank, "cathode ray tubes, doughnuts, electric eels, and... and..." he paused, his mind reeling as he tried to come up with a sufficiently impressive addition, "fantastic scientific creations the likes of which you've never seen!"

"Right," nodded Roxanne, amused despite herself. "I'm going to the picnic..."  
\---

"You can't be serious!" huffed the reporter.

"I most certainly am!" replied the blue skinned villain, sounding more than a little affronted. "Victory would be certain!"

"He'd get ripped apart, or laser eyed, or... I don't know, punched really, really hard!" she responded, laughing a bit at the absurdity of the discussion.

"Well that's if he got close enough to do any of those things," came Megamind's retort. "I mean, Da Vinci was the closest you puny humans ever got to true genius, and I'm sure that given today's means and technology he would have been able to come up with some impressive weapon of inconceivable power and destruction, the world's greatest, apart from my own, of course."

"Yeah, but against Superman?" Roxanne snorted.

"Yes!"

"You do realize that among all those sketches of aqueducts and helicopters were pictures of kittens, right?"

"Kittens can be terrifying!" said Megamind desperately.

"Mmhmm." said Roxanne. She couldn't help but smile. "Well, I think you're forgetting-"

The two were interrupted by a loud crash and a sudden rain of debris as something very large came crashing through the ceiling.

"Sorry to put you on hold," came a familiar voice.

"Metro Man," hissed Megamind, quickly scrambling to his feet. He tapped his forehead lightly, searching quickly for an apt response. "You, should prepare to... hang up!" he managed, "Be...because this isn't a toll free call!"

"Justice is always free," responded Metro Man with a smile.

"Well, perhaps this call is long distance, and it's during peak hours so you should..." Megamind gritted his teeth looking back to Roxanne and Metro Man several times. "You know what, you should just take her. I don't even remember what it was I was going to do when you showed up anyway."

"Well maybe this time I'm calling collect!" Metro Man barrelled on. "Wait, what?" For a moment, the trademark smile left his chiseled features as he looked from Roxanne to Megamind, who already had his back turned and was preparing to leave the room. "O... okay then. Well, I hope you've learned a lesson today about...well... I'm sure you know." He cleared his throat somewhat confused. "Uh, Miss Ritchie?" He held out his arms and within a moment the two were flying away from the evil lair back towards the city.

"Well," said Metro Man, once they were en route. "That was... different."

"Yeah," replied Roxanne, looking back as the wind whipped her hair into her eyes, obscuring her view of her would-be prison. There was something confused, and almost wistful in her voice. "Yeah, it was."  



End file.
